I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
