and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
