i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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