Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
