Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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