you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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