he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
