I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize