There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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