OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
