I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
