I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
