Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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