you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
