she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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