Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize