why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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