it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize
