I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
