You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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