So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
