hell yes lets make some ravioli
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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