So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Two words: blizzard sex
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Your penis caused this!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
