Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
