you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
