Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
