Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
