so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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