If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
