I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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