I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize