Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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