I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
