I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
