my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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