i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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