He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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