i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We left an ass print on the piano.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
