CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
