Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
