she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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