....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
