I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Drunk is a universal language darling
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
