Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
YAS. BRING CRAB.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
