Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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