Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
