Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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