Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
