Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
