Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My Higher Power is John Stamos
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
