I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
