Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My breasts were aching with rage.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
