Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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