So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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