reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Even my vagina gasped.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Is that strawberry winking at me??
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
