thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
