Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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