BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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