that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
