Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
