Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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