I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
