he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
