Please, let me fuck your mom
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
