I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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