i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Randomize
