so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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