He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize