is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
